All about the drama…

As a therapist, an aspect of my role is psycho-education that may benefit client’s self-awareness and the relationships around them. Psycho-education involves explaining a psychology or psychotherapy concept, theory or model that is applicable to the client (or in understanding those around them). A concept I use with most client’s is called ‘The Drama Triangle’ which is a psychological game most people will have played (unless they’re a self-awareness unicorn).

Conceptualised by Steve Karpman in the 1970’s, the drama triangle is an infamous part of Transactional Analysis theory that most other modalities now also incorporate because of it’s usefulness. The triangle represents a psychological game and the various roles we might play ourselves, to ourselves, to others or that others may engage as with us. To break it down, their are 3 roles the triangle is concerned with (all with very 1970’s names…);

The role of the victim, the rescuer and the persecutor.

To begin, an individual can be one role in relationship to one or two others, or an individual can be all 3 roles at various times during a particular event/scenario.

Image purchased from Therapy Tools for All

The roles

In order to make sense of what seems like a very simple triangle, it’s important to understand what each of the roles is, aspects of behaviour and ways in which they interrelate.

The victim role is someone who takes the position of ‘being helpless’ (remember this language is from the 70’s and we use the word victim in a less shaming way these days). They seem unable to solve their own problems or to take appropriate action to solve them, they can be unhealthily dependent on others and when questioned, can become defensive or emotionally distressed. And yet at the same time there can also be a reality of suffering for this role.

The rescuer role acts in relationship to the victim, as they hold a concern for the victim’s welfare. They wish to help or offer any assistance they can as they wish to be seen in the world as being a good person. Ever met someone who acts like a ‘Mother Hen’? That’s a rescuer. A rescuer can find it difficult to say no to others, ultimately leading them to do things they don’t wish to do or is against their own sense of self, and end up taking on too much responsibility for others.

The persecutor… this role lacks empathy or compassion for the victim. They can be blaming or shaming of the victim’s predicament and hold an intent to punish the victim for their helplessness.

What happens in the interplay between the victim, rescuer and persecutor is that the victim initiates the psychological game. The rescuer then picks up the baton by offering to ‘help’ and the victim remains firm in their position of being ‘helpless’. The rescuer, after having suffered a rejection of their rational solution takes on the role of persecutor and expresses anger or frustration in some way. With the rescuer becoming the persecutor, it cements the victim into their victimhood of being someone who can’t be helped… When we look at this, we can see that in fact the victim is always in the position of power as they initiate and dictate the lengths at which the game continues.

Why is this useful?

Well, understanding the drama triangle allows you to increase your self-awareness as to how you might play the game and what role you are within it. Do you find friends and family are easily frustrated with you? Or hold a mindset about being ‘unlucky’? Perhaps the ‘victim’ role is one you might fall into. Do you seem to have a lot on your plate or are consistently busy? Maybe you’re in a rescuer role and your self-worth is tied into how good-a-person others perceive you in the world. Do you find yourself frustrated with others when they can’t seem to execute a ‘simple and rational’ plan? Then, you might just be in the role of persecutor.

It can be an interesting exercise to consider who may have come to mind when reading this post, as it’s likely you have someone who you consider in each of the roles. Holding an awareness that the game is afoot, offers you an opportunity to see how, when and what conditions are required in order for you to be pulled into the drama. It can happen within personal relationships, families and workplaces. Knowing that this happens allows you chance to catch your breath when you think it might be happening - and moving from a place of reaction to response. And that’s where the work is ;)

Having an awareness of the drama triangle and the roles we play is only one aspect of increasing self awareness, as we need to know how to move off of (and how to no longer engage with) the drama… I’ve not moved into how to approach the solution of the drama triangle, as that can prove very powerful work with a therapist. Plus, if I did offer you immediate solutions to a tool that can be used to raise awareness then that would be aspects of my own rescuer showing up in the blog!

If you or someone you know is considering therapy or EMDR then please do get in touch. I’d be interested to hear your comments about the drama triangle - what resonated and what did you object to in this blog?

These posts are for information purposes only and do not replace seeking professional mental health support.